一人二役 Hitoriniyaku, part 1: A Bored Husband's Strange Disguise

人間にんげん、退屈たいくつすると、何なにを始はじめるか知しれたものではないね。You know, there's no telling what a man will start doing once he gets bored.

僕ぼくの知人ちじんにＴという男おとこがあった。There was a fellow I knew, a man called T.

型かたの如ごとく無職むしょくの遊民ゆうみんだ。He was the usual sort: no occupation, a man of idle leisure.

大たいして金かねがある訳わけではないが、まず食くうには困こまらない。He didn't have a great deal of money, but at least he never had to worry about putting food on the table.

ピアノと、蓄音器ちくおんきと、ダンスと、芝居しばいと、活動かつどう写真しゃしんと、そして遊里ゆうりの巷ちまた、その辺へんをグルグル廻まわって暮くらしている様ような男おとこだった。He was the kind of man who lived by going round and round the same circuit: the piano, the gramophone, dancing, the theatre, the moving pictures, and then the pleasure quarters.

ところで、不幸ふこうなことに、この男おとこ、細君さいくんがあった。Now, unfortunately, this man had a wife.

そうした種類しゅるいの人間にんげんに、宿やどの妻つまという奴やつは、いや笑わらいごとじゃない。For a man of that sort, the creature known as a wife at home is, well, no laughing matter.

正まさに不幸ふこうといッつべきだよ。I'd call it a real misfortune, I would.

いや、まったく。No, truly.

別べつに嫌きらっていたという程ほどではないが、といって、無論むろん女房にょうぼう丈だけで満足まんぞくしているＴではない。It wasn't that he actually disliked her, but then, of course, T was not one to be content with his wife alone.

あちらこちら、箸はしまめにあさり歩あるく。He went sniffing around here, there and everywhere, eager to sample whatever he could find.

いうまでもなく、女房にょうぼうは焼やくね。Needless to say, his wife was jealous, you see.

それが又また、Ｔには一寸ちょっと捨すて難がたい、おつな楽たのしみでもあったのだ。And that, in turn, was a rather piquant pleasure that T found hard to give up.

一体いったいＴの女房にょうぼうというのが、なかなかどうして、Ｔなんかに、勿体もったいない様ような美人びじんでね。The thing is, T's wife was really quite a beauty, you know, far too good for the likes of T.

その女房にょうぼうに満足まんぞくしない程ほどのＴだから、その辺へんにざらにある売女ばいたなどに、これはという相手あいての見みつかろう筈はずもないのだが、そこがそれ、退屈たいくつだ。Since T wasn't even satisfied with a wife like that, he could hardly expect to find anyone worth having among the common streetwalkers you come across everywhere, but that's just it: he was bored.

精力せいりょくの過剰かじょうに困こまっているのでもなければ、恋こいを求もとめる訳わけでもない。It wasn't that he was troubled by an excess of vigour, nor that he was looking for love.

ただ退屈たいくつだ。He was simply bored.

次々つぎつぎと違ちがった女おんなに接せっして行いけば、そこにいくらか変かわった味あじがある。If you go from one woman to the next, each one different, there's a bit of a novel flavour in that.

又また、どうした拍子ひょうしで、非常ひじょうな掘出ほりだし物ものがないでもあるまい。And besides, by some stroke of luck, you might just turn up a remarkable find.

Ｔの遊あそびは、大体だいたいそんな様ような意味いみ合あいのものだった。That, roughly speaking, was what T's amusements amounted to.

さて、そのＴがね、変へんなことを始はじめた話はなしだよ。Well, this is the story of how that same T started doing something very odd.

それが実じつに奇想きそう天外てんがいなんだ。And it was truly fantastic, the wildest idea you ever heard.

遊戯ゆうぎもここまで来くると、一寸ちょっと凄すごくなるね。When a game goes this far, it gets a bit frightening, doesn't it?

誰だれしも感かんじることだろうが、自分じぶんの女房にょうぼうがね、自分じぶん以外いがいの男おとこに、つまり間男まおとこにだね、接せっしる時ときの様子ようすをすき見みしたら、さぞ変へんな味あじがするだろう、……いや、実際じっさいにやられては耐たまらないが、ただふっとそんな好奇心こうきしんの起おこることがある。Anyone might feel this, I suppose: if you could steal a peek at your own wife with a man other than yourself, a lover, that is, it would surely be a very strange sensation... Oh, you couldn't bear it if it really happened, of course, but now and then a curiosity like that just pops into your head.

Ｔのあの奇行きこうの動機どうきも、恐おそらく大部分だいぶぶんはそうした好奇心こうきしんだったに相違そういない。No doubt it was mostly that sort of curiosity that drove T to his eccentric behaviour as well.

Ｔ自身じしんでは、彼かれの放蕩三昧ほうとうざんまいに対たいする細君さいくんの嫉妬しっとを封ふうずる手段しゅだんだと称しょうしていたがね。T himself, mind you, claimed it was a way of putting a stop to his wife's jealousy over his life of debauchery.

で、彼かれは何なんをしたかというと、ある夜よるのこと、頭あたまから足あしの先さきまで、すっかり外そとで調ととのえた新あたらしい服装ふくそうで、鼻はなの下したへはチョッピリ附髭つけひげまでして、つまり手軽てがるな変装へんそうをしたんだね。So what did he do? One night, dressed from head to toe in a brand-new outfit he had put together away from home, and even sporting a little false moustache under his nose, he put on, in short, a simple disguise.

そして、自分じぶんのでない、出鱈目でたらめのイニシアルを彫ほらせた銀ぎんのシガレット・ケースを袂たもとにしのばせて、何気なにげない風ふうで自宅じたくへ帰かえったものだ。Then, with a silver cigarette case engraved with made-up initials that weren't his own tucked into his sleeve, he strolled back into his house as if nothing were the matter.

細君さいくんは、Ｔがいつもの通とおり、どっかで夜更よふかしをして帰宅きたくしたのだと信しんじ切きっている。His wife was quite convinced that T had come home after staying out late somewhere, as usual.

いや、それは当然とうぜんのことだが、つまりＴの変装へんそうに少すこしも気きがつかなかった。Well, naturally she would be, but the point is she didn't notice his disguise one bit.

夜更よふけに寝惚ねぼけ眼まなこで見みたのだからそれも無理むりではない。She was seeing him late at night with sleepy eyes, so that was hardly surprising.

Ｔの方ほうでも十分じゅうぶん用心ようじんをして、新あたらしい着物きものの縞柄しまがらなども、以前いぜんからあるのとまぎらわしい様ようなものを選えらんでいたし、附髭つけひげは床とこに這入はいるまで、掌てのひらや、ハンカチなどで隠かくす様ようにした。T, for his part, had been very careful: he had chosen a kimono with a striped pattern easily confused with ones he already owned, and until he got into bed he kept his false moustache hidden with his palm or a handkerchief.

で、結局けっきょく、Ｔのこの奇妙きみょうな計画けいかくはまんまと首尾しゅびよく成功せいこうしたんだ。And so, in the end, this peculiar scheme of T's came off perfectly.

床とこの中なかでね、彼かれ等らは電燈でんとうを消けして寝ねる習慣しゅうかんだったから、真暗まっくらな床ゆかの中なかでだね、Ｔはやっと髭ひげを押おさえていた手てを離はなした。In bed, you see, they always slept with the electric light off, so there in the pitch-dark bed, T at last took away the hand that had been covering his moustache.

で、つまり、当然とうぜんだね、その異様いような毛髪もうはつの感触かんしょくが、細君さいくんを驚おどろかせた。And so, naturally enough, the strange feel of that hair gave his wife a start.

「アラ、…………」"Oh, my..."

細君さいくんが、可愛かわいらしい悲鳴ひめいを上あげたのは、こりゃ決けっして無理むりはない。It was no wonder at all that his wife let out a sweet little shriek.

同時どうじにＴとしては、ここが最もっとも難むずかしい所ところだ。At the same time, for T, this was the trickiest part of all.

彼かれは細君さいくんが髭ひげの存在そんざいを認みとめたことが分わかると、早速さっそく向むきを転かえて、二に度どと髭ひげに触さわらせない様ように、蒲団ふとんを被かぶって、グウグウ空鼾そらいびきをかき出だしたものだ。As soon as he realised his wife had noticed the moustache, he promptly turned over, pulled the quilt over his head so she couldn't touch it again, and started snoring loudly, pretending to be asleep.