葉 Ha, part 3: The Mosquito Tale and Aoi's Experiments

とりわけあの晩ばんの哀蚊あわれがの御寝物語おねものがたりは、不思議ふしぎと私わたくしには忘わすれることができないのでございます。Above all, the bedtime tale of the Awarega that night is, strangely enough, something I have never been able to forget.

そう言いえばあれは確たしかに秋あきでございました。Now that I speak of it, that was surely in autumn.

「秋あきまで生いき残のこされている蚊かを哀蚊あわれがと言いうのじゃ。蚊燻かいぶしは焚たかぬもの。不憫ふびんの故ゆえにな」"A mosquito that is left alive into the autumn is called an Awarega. One does not burn mosquito smoke against them. It is out of pity, you see."

ああ、一言一句いちごんいっくそのまんま私わたくしは記憶きおくして居おります。Ah, I remember it still, every word and every phrase, just as it was spoken.

婆ばあ様さまは寝ねながら滅入めいるような口調くちょうでそう語かたられ、そうそう、婆ばあ様さまは私わたくしを抱いだいてお寝ねになられるときには、きまって私わたくしの両足りょうあしを婆ばあ様さまのお脚あしのあいだに挟はさんで、温あたためて下くださったものでございます。Grandmother said this as she lay in bed, in a gloomy, dispiriting tone. And yes, whenever she held me and went to sleep, she would always take both my feet between her own legs and warm them for me.

或ある寒さむい晩ばんなぞ、婆ばあ様さまは私わたくしの寝巻ねまきをみんなお剥はぎとりになっておしまいになり、婆ばあ様さま御自身ごじしんも輝かがやくほどお綺麗きれいな御お素肌すはだをおむきだし下くださって、私わたくしを抱いだいてお寝ねになりお温あたためなされてくれたこともございました。On one cold night, Grandmother even stripped off all my nightclothes, bared her own skin, so lovely it seemed to shine, and held me close as she slept, warming me with her body.

それほど婆ばあ様さまは私わたくしを大切たいせつにしていらっしゃったのでございます。So dearly did Grandmother cherish me.

「なんの。哀蚊あわれがはわしじゃがな。はかない……」"Why, no. It is I who am the Awarega. How fleeting it all is…"

仰言おっしゃりながら私わたくしの顔かおをつくづくと見みまもりましたけれど、あんなにお美うつくしい御おめめもないものでございます。As she said this, she gazed long and earnestly into my face, and never were there eyes so beautiful as hers.

母屋おもやの御ご祝言しゅうげんの騒さわぎも、もうひっそり静しずかになっていたようでございましたし、なんでも真夜中まよなかちかくでございましたでしょう。The noise of the wedding celebration in the main house seemed to have fallen quite silent by then, and I believe it must have been close to midnight.

秋風あきかぜがさらさらと雨戸あまどを撫なでて、軒のきの風鈴ふうりんがその度たび毎ごとに弱弱よわよわしく鳴なって居おりましたのも幽かすかに思おもいだすことができるのでございます。I can still faintly recall how the autumn wind brushed softly against the storm shutters, and how each time the wind bell under the eaves gave a feeble ring.

ええ、幽霊ゆうれいを見みたのはその夜よるのことでございます。Yes, it was on that very night that I saw the ghost.

ふっと眼めをさましまして、おしっこ、と私わたくしは申もうしましたのでございます。I woke up all of a sudden and said, "I need to wee."

婆ばあ様さまの御ご返事へんじがございませんでしたので、寝ねぼけながらあたりを見廻みまわしましたけれど、婆ばあ様さまはいらっしゃらなかったのでございます。Grandmother gave no answer, so, still half asleep, I looked all around me, but Grandmother was not there.

心細こころぼそく感かんじながらも、ひとりでそっと床とこから脱ぬけ出だしまして、てらてら黒光くろびかりのする欅普請けやきぶしんの長ながい廊下ろうかをこわごわお厠かわやのほうへ、足あしの裏うらだけは、いやに冷ひや冷ひやして居おりましたけれど、なにさま眠ねむくって、まるで深ふかい霧きりのなかをゆらりゆらり泳およいでいるような気持きもち、そのときです。Feeling forlorn, I nevertheless slipped quietly out of bed on my own and went fearfully toward the privy along the long corridor of glossy, black-shining zelkova wood; only the soles of my feet felt dreadfully cold, but I was so very sleepy that it was as if I were swimming, swaying to and fro, through a deep fog—and it was just then.

幽霊ゆうれいを見みたのでございます。I saw a ghost.

長ながい長ながい廊下ろうかの片隅かたすみに、白しろくしょんぼり蹲うずくまって、かなり遠とおくから見みたのでございますから、ふいるむのように小ちいさく、けれども確たしかに、確たしかに、姉あね様さまと今晩こんばんの御お婿むこ様さまとがお寝ねになって居おられるお部屋へやを覗のぞいているのでございます。In a corner of the long, long corridor it crouched, white and forlorn; since I saw it from quite far away it looked as small as a figure on a strip of film, and yet, without a doubt, without any doubt, it was peeping into the room where my elder sister and her new bridegroom of that evening lay sleeping.

幽霊ゆうれい、いいえ、夢ゆめではございませぬ。A ghost—no, it was not a dream.

芸術げいじゅつの美びは所詮しょせん、市民しみんへの奉仕ほうしの美びである。The beauty of art is, in the end, the beauty of service to the public.

花はなきちがいの大工だいくがいる。There is a carpenter who is mad about flowers.

邪魔じゃまだ。He is in the way.

それから、まち子こは眼めを伏ふせてこんなことを囁ささやいた。Then Machiko lowered her eyes and whispered something like this.

「あの花はなの名なを知しっている？　指ゆびをふれればぱちんとわれて、きたない汁しるをはじきだし、みるみる指ゆびを腐くさらせる、あの花はなの名なが判わかったらねえ」"Do you know the name of that flower? The one that bursts with a pop when you touch it with your finger, spurts out a filthy juice, and makes your finger rot before your eyes. If only I knew the name of that flower."

僕ぼくはせせら笑わらい、ズボンのポケットへ両手りょうてをつっ込こんでから答こたえた。I gave a sneering laugh, thrust both hands into my trouser pockets, and answered.

「こんな樹きの名なを知しっている？　その葉はは散ちるまで青あおいのだ。葉はの裏うらだけがじりじり枯かれて虫むしに食くわれているのだが、それをこっそりかくして置おいて、散ちるまで青あおいふりをする。あの樹きの名なさえ判わかったらねえ」"Do you know the name of a tree like this? Its leaves stay green until they fall. Only the undersides of the leaves are slowly withering and being eaten by insects, but the tree hides this away in secret and pretends to be green until the leaves fall. If only I knew the name of that tree."

「死しぬ？　死しぬのか君きみは？」"Die? You mean you're going to die?"

ほんとうに死しぬかも知しれないと小早川こばやかわは思おもった。Kobayakawa thought that he really might die.

去年きょねんの秋あきだったかしら、なんでも青井あおいの家いえに小作こさく争議そうぎが起おこったりしていろいろのごたごたが青井あおいの一身上いっしんじょうに振ふりかかったらしいけれど、そのときも彼かれは薬品やくひんの自殺じさつを企くわだて三みっ日かも昏睡こんすいし続つづけたことさえあったのだ。Was it last autumn? Apparently a tenant-farmer dispute had broken out at Aoi's family home, and all sorts of trouble had fallen on Aoi personally; at that time, too, he had tried to kill himself with drugs and had even lain in a coma for three whole days.

またついせんだっても、僕ぼくがこんなに放蕩ほうとうをやめないのもつまりは僕ぼくの身体からだがまだ放蕩ほうとうに堪たえ得うるからであろう。And again, just the other day, he had said: 'The reason I can't give up my dissipation must be, after all, that my body can still endure it.'

去勢きょせいされたような男おとこにでもなれば僕ぼくは始はじめて一切いっさいの感覚かんかく的てき快楽かいらくをさけて、闘争とうそうへの財政ざいせい的てき扶助ふじょに専心せんしんできるのだ、と考かんがえて、三みっ日かばかり続つづけてＰ市しの病院びょういんに通かよい、その伝染でんせん病舎びょうしゃの傍かたわらの泥溝どぶの水みずを掬すくって飲のんだものだそうだ。If he became something like a castrated man, then at last he could avoid all sensual pleasure and devote himself to giving financial support to the struggle—so thinking, it seems, he went to the hospital in P City for about three days in a row and scooped up and drank water from the ditch beside its isolation ward for infectious diseases.

けれどもちょっと下痢げりをしただけで失敗しっぱいさ、とそのことを後あとで青井あおいが頬ほおあからめて話はなすのを聞きき、小早川こばやかわは、そのインテリ臭くさい遊戯ゆうぎをこのうえなく不愉快ふゆかいに感かんじたが、しかし、それほどまでに思おもいつめた青井あおいの心こころが、少すくなからず彼かれの胸むねを打うったのも事実じじつであった。"But all I got was a touch of diarrhoea, so it failed," Aoi told him later, blushing; hearing this, Kobayakawa found that intellectual's game unpleasant beyond measure, and yet it was also true that Aoi's heart, driven to such desperate lengths, had moved him more than a little.