鮨 Sushi, part 7: A Mother Bows to Her Son

母親ははおやはおろおろの声こえである。His mother's voice was flustered and distraught.

こういう心配しんぱいの揚句あげく、玉子たまごと浅草海苔あさくさのりが、この子この一いちばん性しょうに合あう喰たべものだということが見出みいだされたのだった。After all this worry, it was found that eggs and Asakusa laver were the foods that suited the child best.

これなら子供こどもには腹はらに重苦おもくるしいだけで、穢けがされざるものに感かんじた。With these, the child felt nothing worse than a heaviness in his stomach, and he sensed them to be things that had not been defiled.

子供こどもはまた、ときどき、切せつない感情かんじょうが、体からだのどこからか判わからないで体からだ一いっぱいに詰つまるのを感かんじる。At times, too, the child would feel an aching, wistful emotion well up from somewhere in his body he could not name until it filled him completely.

そのときは、酸味さんみのある柔やわいものなら何なんでも噛かんだ。At such times he would chew anything soft that had a sour taste.

生なま梅うめや橘たちばなの実みを捥もいで来きて噛かんだ。He would pick unripe plums or tachibana oranges and come back chewing them.

さみだれの季節きせつになると子供こどもは都会とかいの中なかの丘おかと谷合たにあいにそれ等らの実みの在所ざいしょをそれらを啄ついばみに来くる烏からすのようによく知しっていた。When the season of the early-summer rains came, the child knew where those fruits were to be found among the hills and hollows of the city, as well as the crows that came to peck at them knew it.

子供こどもは、小学校しょうがっこうはよく出来できた。At primary school the child did very well.

一度いちど読よんだり聞きいたりしたものは、すぐ判わかって乾板かんぱんのように脳のうの襞ひだに焼やきつけた。Anything he had read or heard once he understood at once, and it was burned into the folds of his brain like an image on a photographic plate.

子供こどもには学課がっかの容易よういさがつまらなかった。To the child, the lessons were dull because they were so easy.

つまらないという冷淡れいたんさが、却かえって学課がっかの出来できをよくした。That cool indifference born of boredom only made his schoolwork better.

家いえの中なかでも学校がっこうでも、みんなはこの子供こどもを別べつもの扱あつかいにした。At home and at school alike, everyone treated this child as a being apart.

父親ちちおやと母親ははおやとが一室いっしつで言いい争あらそっていた末すえ、母親ははおやは子供こどものところへ来きて、しみじみとした調子ちょうしでいった。After his father and mother had quarrelled in one of the rooms, his mother came to him and spoke in a heartfelt tone.

「ねえ、おまえがあんまり痩やせて行いくもんだから学校がっこうの先生せんせいと学務がくむ委員いいんたちの間あいだで、あれは家庭かていで衛生えいせいの注意ちゅういが足たりないからだという話はなしが持上もちあがったのだよ。それを聞きいて来きてお父とっつあんは、ああいう性分しょうぶんだもんだから、私わたくしに意地いじくね悪わるく当あたりなさるんだよ」"You see, because you keep getting thinner and thinner, talk started up among your teachers and the school board members that it must be because your family doesn't pay enough attention to hygiene. Your father heard about it, and being the sort of man he is, he's been taking it out on me most spitefully."

そこで母親ははおやは、畳たたみの上うえへ手てをついて、子供こどもに向むかってこっくりと、頭あたまを下さげた。Then his mother placed her hands on the tatami and, facing the child, bowed her head low.

「どうか頼たのむから、もっと、喰たべるものを喰たべて、肥ふとってお呉くれ、そうして呉くれないと、あたしは、朝晩あさばん、いたたまれない気きがするから」"Please, I'm begging you—eat the food that's put in front of you and put on some weight. If you don't, I'll feel I can hardly bear it, morning and night."

子供こどもは自分じぶんの畸形きけいな性質せいしつから、いずれは犯おかすであろうと予感よかんした罪悪ざいあくを、犯おかしたような気きがした。The child felt as though he had committed the sin he had always sensed his deformed nature would lead him to commit sooner or later.

わるい。It was wrong.

母ははに手てをつかせ、お叩頭じぎをさせてしまったのだ。He had made his mother put her hands to the floor and bow to him.

顔かおがかっとなって体からだに慄ふるえが来きた。His face burned, and a trembling came over his body.

だが不思議ふしぎにも心こころは却かえって安やすらかだった。And yet, strangely, his heart felt calm instead.

すでに、自分じぶんは、こんな不孝ふこうをして悪人あくにんとなってしまった。He had already done this undutiful thing and become a wicked person.

こんな奴やつなら自分じぶんは滅ほろびて仕舞しまっても自分じぶんで惜おしいとも思おもうまい。If he was that kind of wretch, then even if he perished, he himself would surely feel no regret.

よし、何なんでも喰たべてみよう、喰たべ馴なれないものを喰たべて体からだが慄ふるえ、吐はいたりもどしたり、その上うえ、体たいじゅうが濁にごり腐くさって死しんじまっても好よいとしよう。Very well, he would try eating anything at all; even if eating food he was not used to made his body shake, made him retch and throw up, and on top of that turned his whole body foul and rotten until he died, so be it.

生いきていてしじゅう喰たべものの好すき嫌きらいをし、人ひとをも自分じぶんをも悩なやませるよりその方ほうがましではあるまいか――Wouldn't that be better than living on, forever fussing over what he would and would not eat, tormenting others and himself?

子供こどもは、平気へいきを装よそおって家いえのものと同おなじ食事しょくじをした。Pretending to be at ease, the child ate the same meal as the rest of the household.

すぐ吐はいた。He vomited at once.

口中こうちゅうや咽喉いんこうを極力きょくりょく無感覚むかんかくに制御せいぎょしたつもりだが嚥のみ下くだした喰たべものが、母親ははおや以外いがいの女おんなの手てが触ふれたものと思おもう途端とたんに、胃嚢いぶくろが不意ふいに逆ぎゃくに絞しぼり上あげられた――女中じょちゅうの裾すそから出でる剥はげた赤あかいゆもじや飯炊めしたき婆ばあさんの横顔よこがおになぞってある黒くろ鬢びんつけの印象いんしょうが胸むねの中なかを暴力ぼうりょくのように掻かき廻まわした。He had meant to keep his mouth and throat as numb as he possibly could, yet the moment he thought that the food he had swallowed had been touched by the hands of women other than his mother, his stomach suddenly wrung itself the wrong way round—the image of the worn red underskirt showing beneath the maid's hem, and of the black hair-oil traced along the old cook's profile, churned through his chest with a kind of violence.

兄あにと姉あねはいやな顔かおをした。His elder brother and sister made sour faces.

父親ちちおやは、子供こどもを横顔よこがおでちらりと見みたまま、知しらん顔かおして晩酌ばんしゃくの盃さかずきを傾かたむけていた。His father merely glanced at the child out of the corner of his eye and went on tilting his evening cup of sake as if he had not noticed.

母親ははおやは子供こどもの吐はきものを始末しまつしながら、恨うらめしそうに父親ちちおやの顔かおを見みてCleaning up what the child had brought up, his mother looked reproachfully at his father's face

「それご覧らんなさい。あたしのせいばかりではないでしょう。この子こはこういう性分しょうぶんです」"There, you see? It isn't all my fault, is it? This child is just made this way."

と嘆息たんそくした。she said with a sigh.

しかし、父親ちちおやに対たいして母親ははおやはなお、おずおずはしていた。Even so, his mother was still timid before his father.

その翌日よくじつであった。It was the next day.

母親ははおやは青葉あおばの映うつりの濃こく射さす縁側えんがわへ新あたらしい茣蓙ござを敷しき、俎板まないただの庖丁ほうちょうだの水桶みずおけだの蠅帳はいちょうだの持もち出だした。On the veranda, where the reflected green of the young leaves fell deep, his mother spread a new rush mat and brought out a chopping board, a kitchen knife, a water pail, a screened food cupboard and the like.

それもみな買かい立たての真新まあたらしいものだった。Every one of them was brand-new, freshly bought.

母親ははおやは自分じぶんと俎板まないたを距へだてた向側むこうがわに子供こどもを坐すわらせた。His mother sat the child down on the side opposite her, with the chopping board between them.

子供こどもの前まえには膳ぜんの上うえに一ひとつの皿さらを置おいた。In front of the child, on a small tray table, she set a single plate.