鮨 Sushi, part 9: A Mother's Sushi Heals the Boy

「では、お客きゃくさまのお好このみによりまして、次つぎを差上さしあげまあす」"Well then, in keeping with the customer's tastes, I shall now serve the next one!"

最初さいしょのときのように、薔薇ばらいろの手てを子供こどもの眼めの前まえに近ちかづけ、母はははまたも手品てじな師しのように裏うらと表おもてを返かえして見みせてから鮨すしを握にぎり出だした。Just as the first time, the mother brought her rose-coloured hands close before the child's eyes, once again turning them over like a conjuror to show the backs and the palms, and then began to press the sushi.

同おなじような白しろい身みの魚さかなの鮨すしが握にぎり出だされた。Out came another piece of sushi made from a similar white-fleshed fish.

母親ははおやはまず最初さいしょの試こころみに注意深ちゅういぶかく色いろと生臭なまぐさの無ない魚肉ぎょにくを選えらんだらしい。For her first attempts, it seemed, the mother had carefully chosen fish with no colour and no fishy smell.

それは鯛たいと比良目ひらめであった。It was sea bream and flounder.

子供こどもは続つづけて喰たべた。The child ate one after another.

母親ははおやが握にぎって皿さらの上うえに置おくのと、子供こどもが掴つかみ取とる手てと、競争きょうそうするようになった。Soon it became a race between the mother pressing each piece and setting it on the plate, and the child's hand snatching it up.

その熱中ねっちゅうが、母ははと子こを何なにも考かんがえず、意識いしきしない一ひとつの気持きもちの痺しびれた世界せかいに牽ひき入いれた。That absorption drew mother and child into a single world of numbed feeling, where they thought of nothing and were aware of nothing.

五いつつ六むっつの鮨すしが握にぎられて、掴つかみ取とられて、喰たべられる――その運はこびに面白おもしろく調子ちょうしがついて来きた。Five or six pieces were pressed, snatched up and eaten, and the whole process took on a pleasant rhythm.

素人しろうとの母親ははおやの握にぎる鮨すしは、いちいち大おおきさが違ちがっていて、形かたちも不細工ぶさいくだった。The sushi made by the mother, who was no professional, varied in size from piece to piece, and their shapes were clumsy.

鮨すしは、皿さらの上うえに、ころりと倒たおれて、載のせた具ぐを傍そばへ落おとすものもあった。Some pieces tumbled over on the plate and dropped their topping to one side.

子供こどもは、そういうものへ却かえって愛あい感かんを覚おぼえ、自分じぶんで形かたちを調ととのえて喰たべると余計よけいおいしい気きがした。The child felt, if anything, a special fondness for those, and when he straightened their shape himself before eating them, they seemed to taste all the better.

子供こどもは、ふと、日頃ひごろ、内ないしょで呼よんでいるも一人ひとりの幻想げんそうのなかの母ははといま目めの前まえに鮨すしを握にぎっている母ははとが眼めの感覚かんかくだけか頭あたまの中なかでか、一致いっちしかけ一重ひとえの姿すがたに紛まぎれている気きがした。Suddenly it seemed to the child that the other mother of his imagination, the one he always secretly called to, and the mother pressing sushi before his eyes right now were beginning to coincide and blur into a single figure, whether only to his eyes or inside his head.

もっと、ぴったり、一致いっちして欲ほしいが、あまり一致いっちしたら恐おそろしい気きもする。He wanted them to match more closely, exactly, and yet he also felt it would be frightening if they matched too well.

自分じぶんが、いつも、誰だれにも内ないしょで呼よぶ母はははやはり、この母親ははおやであったのかしら、それがこんなにも自分じぶんにおいしいものを食たべさせて呉くれるこの母ははであったのなら、内密ないみつに心こころを外そとの母ははに移うつしていたのが悪わるかった気きがした。Was the mother he always called to, without telling anyone, this mother after all? If she was this mother, who gave him such delicious things to eat, then he felt it had been wrong of him to secretly turn his heart to a mother outside.

「さあ、さあ、今日きょうは、この位くらいにして置おきましょう。よく喰たべてお呉くれだったね」"There, there, let's leave it at this much for today. You ate so well for me."

目めの前まえの母親ははおやは、飯粒めしつぶのついた薔薇ばらいろの手てをぱんぱんと子供こどもの前まえで気きもちよさそうにはたいた。The mother before him briskly patted the rice grains off her rose-coloured hands, pat-pat, in front of the child, looking pleased.

それから後あとも五ご、六ろく度ど、母親ははおやの手製てせいの鮨すしに子供こどもは慣ならされて行いった。After that, on five or six more occasions, the child was gradually accustomed to his mother's homemade sushi.

ざくろの花はなのような色いろの赤貝あかがいの身みだの、二本にほんの銀色ぎんいろの地色じいろに竪縞たてじまのあるさよりだのに、子供こどもは馴染なじむようになった。He grew familiar with the flesh of ark shell, the colour of pomegranate blossoms, and with the two halfbeak, their silver ground marked with lengthwise stripes.

子供こどもはそれから、だんだん平常へいじょうの飯めしの菜さいにも魚さかなが喰たべられるようになった。From then on, the child gradually became able to eat fish as a side dish with his ordinary meals too.

身体からだも見違みちがえるほど健康けんこうになった。His body, too, became so healthy that he was hardly recognisable.

中学ちゅうがくへはいる頃ころは、人ひとが振ふり返かえるほど美うつくしく逞たくましい少年しょうねんになった。By the time he entered middle school, he had become a boy so handsome and sturdy that people turned to look at him.

すると不思議ふしぎにも、今いままで冷淡れいたんだった父親ちちおやが、急きゅうに少年しょうねんに興味きょうみを持もち出だした。Then, strangely enough, his father, who until then had been cold to him, suddenly began to take an interest in the boy.

晩酌ばんしゃくの膳ぜんの前まえに子供こどもを坐すわらせて酒さけの対手あいてをさしてみたり、玉突たまつきに連つれて行いったり、茶屋酒ちゃやざけも飲のませた。He would sit the boy down before his evening tray of sake and try making him his drinking companion, take him along to play billiards, and even let him drink in teahouses.

その間あいだに家いえはだんだん潰つぶれて行いく。Meanwhile the household was steadily going to ruin.

父親ちちおやは美うつくしい息子むすこが紺飛白こんがすりの着物きものを着きて盃さかずきを銜ふくむのを見みて陶然とうぜんとする。The father was enraptured to see his handsome son in a navy splash-patterned kimono, sipping from a sake cup.

他所よその女おんなにちやほやされるのを見みて手柄てがらを感かんずる。He felt it was his own achievement when he saw other women fussing over the boy.

息子むすこは十六七じゅうろくしちになったときには、結局けっきょくいい道楽者どうらくものになっていた。By the time the son was sixteen or seventeen, he had, in the end, become a fine young rake.

母親ははおやは、育そだてるのに手数てすうをかけた息子むすこだけに、狂気きょうきのようになってその子こを父親ちちおやが台だいなしにして仕舞しまったと怒おこる。The mother, precisely because this was a son she had taken such trouble to raise, was furious almost to the point of madness, saying his father had ruined the boy.

その必死ひっしな母親ははおやの怒いかりに対たいして父親ちちおやは張合はりあいもなくうす苦にがく黙笑もくしょうしてばかりいる。Faced with the mother's desperate anger, the father merely kept smiling a faint, bitter, silent smile, without any spirit for a fight.

家いえが傾かたむく鬱積うっせきを、こういう夫婦ふうふ争あらそいで両親りょうしんは晴はらしているのだ、と息子むすこはつくづく味気あじけなく感かんじた。His parents were venting the frustration built up by the family's decline through these marital quarrels, the son thought, and he felt utterly dreary about it.

息子むすこには学校がっこうへ行いっても、学課がっかが見通みとおせて判わかり切きってるように思おもえた。Even when the son went to school, it seemed to him that he could see straight through his lessons and already understood them completely.

中学ちゅうがくでも彼かれは勉強べんきょうもしないでよく出来できた。In middle school, too, he did well without studying.

高等こうとう学校がっこうから大学だいがくへ苦くもなく進すすめた。He advanced without difficulty from higher school to university.

それでいて、何なにかしら体からだのうちに切せつないものがあって、それを晴はらす方法ほうほうは急いそいで求もとめてもなかなか見付みつからないように感かんぜられた。And yet there was something aching somewhere inside him, and he felt that however urgently he searched for a way to dispel it, he could not easily find one.

永ながい憂鬱ゆううつと退屈たいくつあそびのなかから大学だいがくも出で、職しょくも得えた。Out of long melancholy and bored amusements, he graduated from university and found a position as well.